Partnering with Parents: Reducing Test Anxiety Together 

Test season can feel heavy—not just for students, but for families, too. Worry, pressure, and uncertainty often settle in, leaving kids stressed and parents unsure of how to help. But here's the encouraging part: parents play a critical role in helping their child navigate these challenging moments—and they don’t have to do it alone.

As counselors, you can connect with parents to empower them to support their child during testing season. With a little teamwork (and some practical strategies), you can help students approach test day with a sense of calm and confidence. Let’s dig into how you can partner with parents to ease test-related stress and set students up for success.

What is Test Anxiety?

First, it’s important to understand what test anxiety really is—and isn’t. While some nerves before a test are completely normal, test anxiety goes further. It’s when fear or worry grows strong enough to interfere with a student’s ability to focus, think clearly, or even function during a test. Parents might notice things like:

• Trouble sleeping or eating.
• Avoidance of homework or studying.
• Physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches.

The good news? Parents don’t have to feel helpless. By understanding what test anxiety looks like—and reframing it as something both manageable and temporary—they can start taking small steps to help their child build resilience.

The Truth About Anxiety (Hint: Not All of It Is Bad!)

When parents hear the term “test anxiety,” it’s natural for them to assume it’s entirely negative. After all, no one wants to see their child stressed! But here’s an important message to share: not all anxiety is harmful.

You can introduce parents to the Yerkes-Dodson Law, a concept that explains how a little bit of nervous energy can actually boost performance. Imagine an upside-down U-shaped curve:

• At the low end, there’s not enough arousal (think daydreaming or disengagement).
• At the peak, there’s just the right amount—students feel focused, energized, and motivated.
• At the high end, overwhelming anxiety kicks in, and performance tends to drop.

The goal? Help students stay in that productive sweet spot, where anxiety works as a motivator instead of a roadblock. For parents, this means shifting from the mindset of trying to “eliminate” anxiety entirely to helping their child manage stress in healthier ways.

How Parents Can Help: Practical, Actionable Strategies

Parents are often eager to help but unsure where to start. Setting them up with simple, specific tools can make all the difference. Here are a few test anxiety strategies you can suggest:

1. Set a Positive Tone

How parents talk about tests affects how students feel about them. Encourage parents to shift from pressure-filled phrases like, “This is really important—don’t mess it up,” to something more uplifting:

• “This test is an opportunity to show what you’ve been learning.”
• “No matter what, I’m proud of how hard you’ve worked to prepare.”

This reframes the test as growth-focused rather than performance-obsessed, which can take the edge off.

2. Build Predictable Routines

A consistent schedule can be a relief when emotions are running high. Suggest creating calming routines around sleep, meals, and bedtime leading up to test day. For the morning of the test, parents could:

• Prepare a quick, healthy breakfast.
• Wake their child up with enough time to avoid rushing.
• Share a simple “pep talk” or practice a mindful breathing exercise together.

3. Teach Easy Relaxation Techniques

Even young kids can learn simple ways to calm their nerves. One idea to share with parents is “balloon breathing”:

• Pretend to blow up a giant balloon by taking a deep breath in.
• Exhale slowly, “letting the balloon float away.”

Breathing exercises like this can be a soothing way for kids to center themselves before or during a test.

4. Model Stress Management

Kids pick up on the energy of the adults around them. Encourage parents to share how they manage their own stress, modeling healthy approaches like:

• “When I get nervous, I like to take a few deep breaths to refocus.”
• “It’s okay to feel a little nervous—it helps me know I care about what I’m doing!”

This shows students that feeling stressed isn’t inherently bad—and that they can take steps to stay in control.

5. Focus on Effort, Not Results

Parents can shift the conversation away from outcomes like scores or grades by praising effort instead. Suggest phrases like:

• “I’m so proud of how hard you’ve been working on this.”
• “Let’s celebrate the time you spent preparing—that’s what matters most.”

This reinforces important values like persistence and growth over perfection.

6. Stay Connected With Teachers and Counselors

Remind parents that they’re not in this alone—they can always lean on you for advice. Encourage them to:

• Ask teachers about specific skills their child could focus on.
• Check with you for tips on relaxation strategies or academic interventions.

Let parents know their partnership truly makes a difference.

Additional Test Anxiety Resources

Sometimes, parents just need an extra nudge to feel confident about supporting their child. Consider sharing:

• A downloadable "Parent’s Guide to Test Day Success"
• Links to mindfulness apps or printable relaxation exercises
• A list of books on test anxiety
• Blog Post: 6 Test Anxiety Strategies

The goal is to equip families with tools that make test preparation feel doable—not overwhelming.

Conquering Test Anxiety

Test anxiety doesn’t have to be an impossible hurdle. With the right support from parents (and a little encouragement from you), students can face test day with greater calm, resilience, and self-assurance.

By helping parents understand their role, offering them actionable strategies, and working together as a team, we can transform test season from a time of stress into an opportunity for growth.

Let parents know you’re here to support them every step of the way—and that even small shifts can have a big impact on their child’s confidence. After all, when we work together, we’re not just preparing kids for one test—we’re giving them tools they’ll carry for a lifetime.