Defiance is an inevitable and generally not a welcomed part of a classroom. You are spending your day getting through your content, building community, and regularly demanding that students do tons of tasks. From time to time, they are going to have different ideas.
Even walking down the hallway can be a struggle without one of those 20+ students deciding they'd rather skip. As a building-based school psychologist, I frequently supported teachers to develop behavior strategies they could use again and again. Strategies for defiant behavior was the most frequent request.
The best thing you can do to prepare for defiant behavior is to have a strong classroom community. This classroom community will reinforce rules and norms, encourage each other, and make defiance less likely. Developing a strong classroom community is a whole other post (or book), so let's look at some preparation and strategies for defiant behavior you can use to diffuse and minimize.
One key to handling defiant behavior is having a pre-determined idea of how you are going to handle it. When a student becomes oppositional, it can be easy to react in some less than rational ways.
For students with frequent defiant behavior, I like to develop these consequences with the student. Typically they will follow the classroom consequences, but the process of discussing and writing them down can be a powerful intervention.
In addition to showing the cause and effect of noncompliance, you can also discuss with the student what supports they might need and what ones don't work well for them.
Often when students are defiant, they are also not in great control of their emotions or actions. It can be helpful to give them time and space to reset. Consider having a calm down area in your classroom with clear procedures.
Students aren't usually defiant just because they feel like it. Often they lack the skills to verbalize how they feel, ask for help, or ask for another option.
In one classroom, a teacher had a visual velcro-ed to all the students' desks. One side was green and the other was red. When a student needed help, they flipped the card over to the red side. This was a simple, nonverbal way to ask for help.
Just as with academics, students need to be taught many of the social emotional skills we think come naturally. Spend time as a class practicing how to respectfully disagree. These steps can be practiced and used in moments of noncompliance.
Reflection should occur after a student is defiant, and it should be done by both the student and the teacher. As a teacher, you can think about how the situation could have gone differently. Did you stick to your pre-determined consequences? Did you use some of the tricks further down this page? Does the student seem to be missing some skills, like asking for help?
Students can complete reflection sheets. These shouldn't be punitive and should be paired with an adult discussion.
Aside from Kindergarten teachers, you know when you are getting a student with a history of defiant behavior. The best way not repeat history is to purposefully and effortfully build a positive relationship with this student. Separate the student from their behavior. Work on making sure they know you are on their side and they belong in your classroom. Do this well and you will barely need the rest of this post.
Active listening is a great way to build that relationship. When you are debriefing with a student or trying to understand what upset them, listen to what they say and rephrase it back to them. Checking to make sure you understand their concerns and feelings is an incredible tool. It keeps that relationship positive and often you get great information from them.
"Let me check that I understand what you said. You felt embarrassed when I told you to go sign-up for after school help and so you didn't get up and do that when I asked."
I-centered language is useful to prevent a situation from escalating. Keep your language focused on what you need from the student and why, rather that on what you want them to stop doing.
"I need everyone to clean-up their writing materials so we can line up and get to art on time. If we are late to art, the class won't have enough time for their project today."
All student behavior, positive and negative, is a communication of some kind. What is the student communicating with their defiant behavior? This doesn't need to be deep. To be honest, it could be that they don't like you very much. In which case, go back to relationship building. 😉
Seriously though, students could be defiant because the work is too challenging, they don't feel confident, they don't like spelling, their partner isn't nice to them, they woke up late, etc. Knowing the why, changes how your approach the student.
Using ABC logs or anecdotal recordings can help you discover what is behind your student's defiant behavior. A lot can also be discovered through a well-intentioned conversation where you tell the student what you have been noticing.
Okay, you prepared, you reflected, you built the relationship, you collected data. You still might need some in the moment strategies for defiant behavior.
Waterfall compliance is simple. You start with a simple request that has a high probability of compliance. You follow up with another one of those high probability requests. Maybe even another. Then you give the request that has a low probability of compliance. Try 2-5 high probability requests followed by a low probability request.
High > High > High > Low.
Students are much more likely to comply when they are on a compliance streak. Once they have complied on a number of requests in a row, they are going over that waterfall.
* Only a good strategy when the student is capable of doing the tasks.
Phrase your language positively and clearly. Avoid telling the student what they should stop doing and instead tell them what they should be doing. Break it down into simple, easy to complete steps.
Just as the rules in your classroom are phrased positively, your language should mirror that classroom contract.
Students with a history of defiance are used to receiving negative feedback. Try pairing redirection or corrections with some sort of praise.
Jeremy, we need to line up for lunch so we have enough time to eat. I was really impressed with how you lined up this morning, let's do it just like that again.
Fiona, I noticed that you are interrupting your partner. For the project to work, you both have to listen and work together. I know that you are capable of doing that because you are such a good listener in guided reading group.
When a student is defiant, it can feel disrespectful and stressful. We might not always be our best selves in that situation. Give yourself time to formulate an effective response by taking a deep breath.
This has a lot of purposes. It gives you a minute to compose yourself. It lets you bring your emotions back in line. And it models for the student how to handle a negative situation.
Give the student some choice to make it easier to comply. It is fine if is a false choice with a less preferable option, like the one below. It can also be between two preferred activities.
Henry, you can bring your writing work over to the table and work with me or you can finish it during independent reading.
Provide the student with an opportunity to save face. Often students who are inclined to be defiant will dig their heels in when met with a demand. Give them an out within your request.
Darryl, please begin your reading assignment. I want to make sure you have an opportunity to do the partner work.
By giving a reason for compliance in your request, you allow the student to show that they are complying for that reason and not just because you asked. It is also helpful to give directives privately, kindly, using the student's name, and making eye contact. This removes some of the adversarial nature of requests/demands on a student.
In a classroom of twenty plus students, defiant and non-compliant behaviors are inevitable. How often this happens, how it happens, and how quickly it stops are the parts that you have control over.
Focus on preparation, relationship building, and simple tricks to keep students feeling positive and part of the community.
What strategies for defiant behavior do you use? Comment below!
Laura is a former school psychologist passionately trying to bring social-emotional learning to every student at every tier. Click here for hands-on resources for the classroom and counseling.
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